ATTITUDE.

10 dating faux pas you should NEVER EVER make.

..by the girl who's made them all. (in this case, Tanya de Grunwald, and not me =/ )

1. Make sure you apply your fake tan in good time. I once slapped mine on in a rush, just before my date. I looked sun-kissed in the taxi and bronzed at the bar - but by the time I got to the restaurant I looked as if I'd changed ethnic groups. My date just said, totally deadpan, "Have you been away?"

2. Don't be too cheap to get a cab. After an amazing date, he was leaning in for a kiss when I spotted my night bus over his shoulder. Rather than thinking, 'Oh who cares? I'll get the next one,' I shouted in this face: "That's my bus!" -and legged it. What was I thinking?

3. Whatever you do, don't choose a venue where you could potentially get hurt. I went on a date at an ice rink and was suddenly struck by the urge to kiss him (lucky guy). I grabbed him, pulled him to me, lost my balance and kneed him in the groin. Suffice to say the kiss never happened.

4. Be prepared for an unwelcome lunge. After one date, the guy was clearly gearing up to kiss me - but because I didn't really fancy him, I panicked. What did I do? Peck him on the cheek and wish him goodnight? No, I saluted.

5. On a dinner date, don't choose the spiciest thing on the menu. By my third mouthful of Thai curry, I was feeling the burn. I glugged my glass of water, his glass of water and then (oh, the shame) reached over and seized the jug belongi9ng to the couple next to us. Without even asking.

6. Always dress appropriately. If it's chilly, a padded bra is a must. I once met a date and, as I slipped off my coat, he said "Cold out, is it?" then made jokes all night about how I'd arrived "smuggling Tic Tacs". Mortifying.

7. Never drink'n'text. I was navigating a date with a boring bloke when, in a moment of bitchiness, I went to the loo and texted my mate: "OMG, could this guy be any duller?!?!" - then accidentally sent it to my date. It still haunts me.

8. On the same subject, it's wise to know that "cool" can also come out as "bonk" on predictive text.

9. Study the menu carefully, and remember: rogue ingredients lurk in mystery sauces. My date wasn't exactly Brad Pitt, but I'd still have preferred to spend my evening with him than with my head in that toilet bowl, cursing anchovies.

10. If he invites you on a picnic date, remember to go easy on the perfume. Being pursued by him was lovely. Being pursued by 40 wasps was not.

Labels: cool shyt, listZ

-kill%bek_ah

Mah Music.